What does it really mean to tell the truth—especially when it’s your own story?
In this episode of #UNFILTERED, I sit down with Maria Costanzo Palmer—author, journalist, and speaker whose work lives at the intersection of vulnerability, identity, and transformation.
We dive into her memoir “On the Rocks”, unpacking the emotional layers behind major unexpected life changes, family dynamics, and personal healing.
Maria shares what it took to write something so deeply personal, how storytelling can become a powerful tool for growth, and why owning your voice matters more than ever.
We also explore her work in media, her local cooking classevents, and what’s next—including a new book and documentary currently in the works.
This conversation is honest, raw, and deeply human—just the way we like it on #UNFILTERED.
This episode matters because shifting your narrative can restore your sense of self and spark powerful transformation. Maria shows us that our most imperfect moments, when truthfully told, become the foundation of our greatest rebirths.
Watch a clip from the episode
Key Takeaways
Why storytelling is one of the most powerful tools for healing
The journey from journalist to author to filmmaker
The emotional reality behind writing a memoir
How addiction and family dynamics shape identity
The courage it takes to share your truth publicly
The connection between food, memory, and personal history
What it really means to live “unfiltered”
How Maria is expanding her story into a second book, a new TV documentary + next steps in her career
Sound Bites
“Gratitude for everything that happened to me”
“Our roots and family stories shape who we are”
“Storytelling is a powerful form of healing”
Chapters/Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to Kristen Hess and Maria Palmer
01:21 Maria Palmer’s Background and Journey into Writing
03:36 Family Roots and the Restaurant in McKees Rocks
04:56 Life-Changing Moments and Moving to Los Angeles
06:39 Documenting Family History and Confronting the Past
09:10 Healing Through Storytelling and Family Connections
11:37 Reuniting Family Through Food and Shared Memories
13:48 The Book Project: Writing in Multiple Voices
18:46 The Documentary Series: Production and Future Plans
26:00 Writing Challenges and Lessons Learned
32:40 Balancing Control and Collaboration in Creative Projects
45:16 Final Thoughts and Unfiltered Life Lessons
This episode dares you to confront your past, embrace your true voice, and find healing through the raw power of storytelling—because what we hide can ultimately make us whole.
There are moments in life when something just clicks—and you don’t even realize how much you needed it until you’re right in the middle of it.
That’s exactly what happened to me this past weekend.
My Tribe Cooking Crew!
I spent a long weekend at the Substack Food Writer’s Retreat with a group of incredible women (& two men!)—chefs, food writers, cookbook authors, photographers, bloggers, and storytellers.
And here’s the wild part… most of us had never met in person before. We had only connected through Substack.
Doing Improv Group Exercises
But from the moment we arrived, something felt different.
There was this instant ease.
This shared energy.
This feeling like… oh, these are my people.
Magical fun weekend
🍷 A Weekend of Food, Stories & Connection
The weekend was everything you’d imagine—and more.
We cooked together.
Shared meals around a big table.
Talked for hours about food, creativity, business, and life.
Laughed until we couldn’t breathe.
It was one of those experiences where time slows down just enough for you to really feel everything.
And somewhere between chopping herbs, plating dishes, and pouring glasses of wine… we became a tribe.
Not just a group of women who met at a retreat—but a community built on shared passion, mutual respect, and genuine connection.
✨ What “Finding Your Tribe” Really Means
We hear this phrase all the time—find your tribe.
But what does that actually look like?
For me, it’s not just about being surrounded by people.
It’s about being surrounded by the right people.
The ones who:
understand what lights you up
see your vision
support your growth
and remind you who you are at your core
It’s that feeling where you don’t have to explain yourself.
You don’t have to tone it down or play small.
You just show up as you are—and that’s enough.
There’s a quote by Jim Rohn that says:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
And when you’re in a room full of creative, passionate, driven people?
You feel that shift immediately.
🌿 Why the Right Environment Changes Everything
One of the biggest takeaways from this weekend was just how much your environment impacts you.
When you’re surrounded by people who are aligned with your passions and values:
your creativity expands
your confidence grows
your ideas flow more freely
You start thinking bigger.
Dreaming again.
Taking yourself—and your work—more seriously.
Because you’re no longer questioning whether you belong.
You already know you do.
And that’s where real momentum begins.
🤝 Collaboration Over Competition
Something else that really stood out to me was the energy of support.
There was no competition. No comparison.
Just women genuinely cheering each other on.
Sharing ideas.
Offering advice.
Talking about ways to collaborate.
And it reminded me of something so important:
The right people don’t see your success as a threat.
They see it as inspiration.
As Brené Brown beautifully says:
“We don’t have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”
And that’s exactly what this experience felt like.
🍲 The Meals That Brought Us Together
Of course, no food writers retreat would be complete without an unforgettable meal.
And we had many! We all shared breakfast, lunch and dinner together
made by our individual cooking teams and everything was delicious!
For our final dinner, a few of us teamed up to create an Indian-inspired feast with street food appetizers,
Chickpea Curry, Salad, Cumin Rice, a variety of Indian Condiments and a Spiced Cake for dessert —
and I made:
Mini Curried Spinach & Queso Mini Pot Piesw/ Cilantro-Lime Yogurt Sauce
Golden, flaky pastry filled with warm curry-spiced spinach, chickpeas, and creamy queso.
Curried Spinach & Queso Mini Pot Pies
They were comforting, flavorful, and perfect for sharing—just like the weekend itself.
Curried Spinach + Queso Mini Pot Pies
By Kristen Hess / The Artful Gourmet
Baked in Muffin Pans
Makes about 24 pot pies / or 48 mini pot pies
INGREDIENTS
Puff Pastry
4 sheets store-bought puff pastry or shortcrust pastry, thawed
Flour for dusting
Spinach + Queso Filling
2 1/2-3 lbs fresh baby spinach, chopped
12 oz queso fresco, crumbled
2 cans (15 oz each) chickpeas, drained and rinsed well
2 small yellow onions, finely diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 tbsp curry powder
2 tsp ground turmeric
1 cup heavy cream or coconut milk
2 tbsp olive oil or butter
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Glaze
2 eggs, beaten (optional, for brushing on pastry tops if using)
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Prepare the Filling
Heat olive oil or butter in a large skillet over medium heat.
Add the diced onions and sauté for 5–6 minutes until soft and translucent.
Stir in the garlic, curry powder, and turmeric and cook for 1 minute until fragrant.
2. Cook the Spinach
Add the chopped spinach in batches, stirring until wilted.
Stir in the chickpeas and cook for 2 minutes.
3. Make the Creamy Sauce
Pour in the heavy cream or coconut milk and simmer for 5-6 minutes until slightly thickened.
Season with salt and black pepper, to taste.
Remove from heat and allow the mixture to cool slightly.
Fold in the crumbled queso fresco.
(The filling should be thick and scoopable, not watery.)
4. Prepare the Pastry
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C).
Lightly grease two 24-cup muffin pans.
Roll out the puff pastry on a lightly floured surface.
Cut into 5-6-inch squares or circles.
Press each piece of pastry gently into the muffin cups to form small shells.
Note: You can also use two 24-cup mini muffin pans and cut the pastry into 3-inch circles and bake 18-22 minutes.
5. Fill the Pot Pies
Spoon 1–2 tablespoons of filling into each pastry shell.
Cut additional small pastry rounds or squares for the tops (if desired.)
You can either:
Leave them open-faced, or
Add small pastry lids and press lightly.
6. Egg Wash & Bake
Brush the tops with beaten egg (if using).
Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until:
pastry is golden, crunchy and puffed
filling is heated through
Let cool in the pan for 5 minutes, run a sharp knife around the edges of the pan to loosen the pies, then gently remove and serve on a platter with the Cilantro-Lime Yogurt Sauce drizzled on top of the pies (and extra on the side for dipping!)
Cilantro-Lime Yogurt Sauce
Makes about 2 cups
INGREDIENTS
2 cups plain Greek yogurt
3/4 cup fresh cilantro, finely chopped
2-3 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp garlic powder (or 1 small clove minced)
Salt and black pepper to taste
Optional: 1 tsp honey or agave
INSTRUCTIONS
Combine all ingredients in a bowl.
Stir until smooth.
Chill for 30 minutes to let flavors develop.
✨ Serving Tip
Arrange the pot pies on a platter with the yogurt sauce drizzled on top and bowl of extra sauce in the center and garnish with:
If I’m being honest, this weekend was more than just a fun getaway.
It was a wake-up call.
After spending the past four years in Texas, working in a different rhythm of life and a full-time role, I didn’t realize how much I had been missing this part of myself.
This creative energy.
This sense of community.
This connection to food, storytelling, and building something meaningful.
It reminded me of my time in New York City—where I first built my business, my network, and my creative identity.
And it made one thing very clear:
I want to find my way back there.
Back to a life that feels aligned.
Back to my people.
Back to the energy that fuels me.
❤️ Why Finding Your Tribe Matters
Finding your tribe isn’t just about friendship.
It’s about alignment.
It’s about surrounding yourself with people who:
inspire you
support you
challenge you
and help you grow
It’s about creating a life—and a business—that feels authentic, fulfilling, and connected.
Because when you’re in the right room, everything changes.
A special thanks to Jenn Sharp, our amazing event hostess and organizer who brought us all together and made this retreat magical for all of us! And another shoutout to my new food tribe! You are all so talented and inspiring, and I am so happy to have met you all – I can’t wait to next year’s adventure together again! France? Italy? I’m In!
In a world filled with mass-produced perfumes, UK-based Shay & BlueFragrances has carved a distinct niche for itself. This boutique London perfumery blends traditional craftsmanship with modern flair, producing fragrances that are as memorable as they are luxurious.
Whether it’s the vibrant burst of Blood Oranges or the moody depth of Violet Tabac, Shay & Blue scents invite wearers to experience perfume as an art form, not just a product.
They believe fragrance should be fun, for everyone and free from the stereotypes of big brands. They aim to liberate happiness and encourage you to be true to yourself with clean, unisex fragrances that are not like the norm.
The Story Behind Shay & Blue
Founded in 2012, Shay & Blue quickly gained recognition for its fresh take on fragrance creation. The brand’s ethos is rooted in authentic perfumery traditions, avoiding shortcuts and synthetic overloads in favor of genuine, high-quality ingredients.
Founder Dom De Vetta’s Vision
Dom De Vetta, the founder, isn’t new to luxury perfumes—he previously served as Senior Vice President at Jo Malone London. His mission with Shay & Blue was to create scents that feel personal, artisanal, and indulgent without the exorbitant price tags often attached to niche perfumes.
⸻
What Makes Shay & Blue Unique
Handcrafted in London
Each bottle is produced in small batches, ensuring attention to detail. The perfumers work out of a London atelier, blending and bottling scents by hand—a rarity in today’s automated perfume industry.
Natural Ingredients & Vegan Formulations
Shay & Blue avoids unnecessary chemical fillers. The perfumes are vegan, cruelty-free, and made with a high proportion of natural ingredients, making them kinder to both the skin and the environment.
Signature Blue Glass Bottles
The striking cobalt blue bottles are more than just packaging—they’re a brand signature. Sleek, recyclable, and elegant, they’ve become an instant visual identifier for Shay & Blue fans.
⸻
This is Her Era
This month isn’t about fitting into one role. It’s about range. Presence. Identity. From International Women’s Day to Mother’s Day to International Fragrance Day, we celebrate women in every form — soft and sharp, grounded and magnetic.Wild Roses. Be Real. Signature scent.Layered like she is.
This month isn’t about fitting into one role. It’s about range. Presence. Identity.
Nightmare dressed as a daydream. Lilacs and Gooseberries is a twisted and addictive juicy floral. Obsessive Lilacs open to the thrill of dark demons. Twisted with sharp Gooseberries drenched in juice. Finishing this intoxication with smooth white amber.
Blood Oranges
A fresh, juicy, and slightly zesty scent, Blood Oranges opens with bright citrus notes before settling into a warm, sensual base.
Blackberry Woods
Dark and sensual like a walk in dew-soaked woods. Glossy berry juice with punk-sharp citrus. A rebel fragrance with heart and mind. Blackberry Woods essence of enchantment.
Salt Caramel
Gourmand lovers rejoice—this sweet, Salted Caramel creation is indulgence in a bottle.
English Cherry Blossom
Soft and feminine, English Cherry Blossom is perfect for spring days and romantic evenings alike.
Dark Amber Pomegranate
Insane in the membrane! Revel in the dark depths of plum and insanely juicy bursts of pomegranate. An intensely juicy take on a daringly spicy fragrance. Dark Amber Pomegranate is truly irresistible.
How Shay & Blue Compares to Other Luxury Perfume Brands/Similarities with Jo Malone & Diptyque
Like Jo Malone and Diptyque, Shay & Blue embraces artisanal craftsmanship and unique scent combinations.
Distinct Differences in Scent Profile
Shay & Blue leans towards bolder, more indulgent notes, while maintaining a balance between fresh and opulent fragrances.
⸻
Handmade in the UK, in Hastings
We use carefully selected planet friendly ingredients to revive the forgotten ways of artisan perfumery. Hand made in London, our fragrances are certified organic, vegan, cruelty free and clean.
“Perfumery is a language. Composition is the translation of an artistic vision of life, something between pure creation, interpretation and affirmation.”
—Julie Massé
⸻
Sustainability & Ethical Practices
100% Recyclable Packaging
Every element—from the glass bottle to the paper label—is recyclable, supporting the brand’s eco-friendly mission.
Cruelty-Free Commitment
No Shay & Blue product is tested on animals, aligning with modern ethical consumer values.
How to Layer Shay & Blue Fragrances for a Unique Scent
Layering two Shay & Blue perfumes can create a completely new fragrance profile. For example, Blood Oranges with Salt Caramel produces a vibrant, sweet-citrus fusion.
⸻
Scentlist Fragrance Club
Stream a new fragrance every month for only $20. Create your very own playlist and play your way – shuffle, repeat or play your fragrances and they’ll deliver them direct to your door. ScentList members also get added perks, such as: An exclusive fragrance once a year, early access to new drops , free shipping on all orders and more.
Reputable sellers like Selfridges and John Lewis also stock authentic bottles.
⸻
Care & Storage Tips for Your Perfume
Keep your bottles away from direct sunlight and heat to maintain fragrance integrity. Ideally, store them in a cool, dry place—your blue bottle will thank you.
⸻
FAQs about Shay & Blue Fragrances
Q1: Are Shay & Blue fragrances unisex?
A: Yes, many scents are designed to be worn by all genders.
Q2: How long does the scent last?
A: Most last between 6–8 hours depending on skin type and climate.
Q3: Are they safe for sensitive skin?
A: The use of natural ingredients makes them gentler, but patch testing is always advised.
Q4: Can I buy travel-sized bottles?
A: Yes, many popular scents are available in 10ml sizes.
Q5: Do they offer gift sets?
A: Yes, especially around holidays and special occasions.
Q6: Is Shay & Blue worth the price?
A: Absolutely—quality ingredients, artisanal production, and ethical values make it a standout choice.
⸻
Conclusion – Why Shay & Blue Deserves a Place in Your Collection
With its artisanal quality, ethical ethos, and unforgettable scent profiles, Shay & Blue has firmly established itself as a modern luxury perfume house. For fragrance lovers who appreciate creativity, authenticity, and sustainability, it’s more than just perfume—it’s an experience.
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