What does it really mean to tell the truth—especially when it’s your own story?
In this episode of #UNFILTERED, I sit down with Maria Costanzo Palmer—author, journalist, and speaker whose work lives at the intersection of vulnerability, identity, and transformation.
We dive into her memoir “On the Rocks”, unpacking the emotional layers behind major unexpected life changes, family dynamics, and personal healing.
Maria shares what it took to write something so deeply personal, how storytelling can become a powerful tool for growth, and why owning your voice matters more than ever.
We also explore her work in media, her local cooking classevents, and what’s next—including a new book and documentary currently in the works.
This conversation is honest, raw, and deeply human—just the way we like it on #UNFILTERED.
This episode matters because shifting your narrative can restore your sense of self and spark powerful transformation. Maria shows us that our most imperfect moments, when truthfully told, become the foundation of our greatest rebirths.
Watch a clip from the episode
Key Takeaways
Why storytelling is one of the most powerful tools for healing
The journey from journalist to author to filmmaker
The emotional reality behind writing a memoir
How addiction and family dynamics shape identity
The courage it takes to share your truth publicly
The connection between food, memory, and personal history
What it really means to live “unfiltered”
How Maria is expanding her story into a second book, a new TV documentary + next steps in her career
Sound Bites
“Gratitude for everything that happened to me”
“Our roots and family stories shape who we are”
“Storytelling is a powerful form of healing”
Chapters/Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to Kristen Hess and Maria Palmer
01:21 Maria Palmer’s Background and Journey into Writing
03:36 Family Roots and the Restaurant in McKees Rocks
04:56 Life-Changing Moments and Moving to Los Angeles
06:39 Documenting Family History and Confronting the Past
09:10 Healing Through Storytelling and Family Connections
11:37 Reuniting Family Through Food and Shared Memories
13:48 The Book Project: Writing in Multiple Voices
18:46 The Documentary Series: Production and Future Plans
26:00 Writing Challenges and Lessons Learned
32:40 Balancing Control and Collaboration in Creative Projects
45:16 Final Thoughts and Unfiltered Life Lessons
This episode dares you to confront your past, embrace your true voice, and find healing through the raw power of storytelling—because what we hide can ultimately make us whole.
There are moments in life when something just clicks—and you don’t even realize how much you needed it until you’re right in the middle of it.
That’s exactly what happened to me this past weekend.
My Tribe Cooking Crew!
I spent a long weekend at the Substack Food Writer’s Retreat with a group of incredible women (& two men!)—chefs, food writers, cookbook authors, photographers, bloggers, and storytellers.
And here’s the wild part… most of us had never met in person before. We had only connected through Substack.
Doing Improv Group Exercises
But from the moment we arrived, something felt different.
There was this instant ease.
This shared energy.
This feeling like… oh, these are my people.
Magical fun weekend
🍷 A Weekend of Food, Stories & Connection
The weekend was everything you’d imagine—and more.
We cooked together.
Shared meals around a big table.
Talked for hours about food, creativity, business, and life.
Laughed until we couldn’t breathe.
It was one of those experiences where time slows down just enough for you to really feel everything.
And somewhere between chopping herbs, plating dishes, and pouring glasses of wine… we became a tribe.
Not just a group of women who met at a retreat—but a community built on shared passion, mutual respect, and genuine connection.
✨ What “Finding Your Tribe” Really Means
We hear this phrase all the time—find your tribe.
But what does that actually look like?
For me, it’s not just about being surrounded by people.
It’s about being surrounded by the right people.
The ones who:
understand what lights you up
see your vision
support your growth
and remind you who you are at your core
It’s that feeling where you don’t have to explain yourself.
You don’t have to tone it down or play small.
You just show up as you are—and that’s enough.
There’s a quote by Jim Rohn that says:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
And when you’re in a room full of creative, passionate, driven people?
You feel that shift immediately.
🌿 Why the Right Environment Changes Everything
One of the biggest takeaways from this weekend was just how much your environment impacts you.
When you’re surrounded by people who are aligned with your passions and values:
your creativity expands
your confidence grows
your ideas flow more freely
You start thinking bigger.
Dreaming again.
Taking yourself—and your work—more seriously.
Because you’re no longer questioning whether you belong.
You already know you do.
And that’s where real momentum begins.
🤝 Collaboration Over Competition
Something else that really stood out to me was the energy of support.
There was no competition. No comparison.
Just women genuinely cheering each other on.
Sharing ideas.
Offering advice.
Talking about ways to collaborate.
And it reminded me of something so important:
The right people don’t see your success as a threat.
They see it as inspiration.
As Brené Brown beautifully says:
“We don’t have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”
And that’s exactly what this experience felt like.
🍲 The Meals That Brought Us Together
Of course, no food writers retreat would be complete without an unforgettable meal.
And we had many! We all shared breakfast, lunch and dinner together
made by our individual cooking teams and everything was delicious!
For our final dinner, a few of us teamed up to create an Indian-inspired feast with street food appetizers,
Chickpea Curry, Salad, Cumin Rice, a variety of Indian Condiments and a Spiced Cake for dessert —
and I made:
Mini Curried Spinach & Queso Mini Pot Piesw/ Cilantro-Lime Yogurt Sauce
Golden, flaky pastry filled with warm curry-spiced spinach, chickpeas, and creamy queso.
Curried Spinach & Queso Mini Pot Pies
They were comforting, flavorful, and perfect for sharing—just like the weekend itself.
Curried Spinach + Queso Mini Pot Pies
By Kristen Hess / The Artful Gourmet
Baked in Muffin Pans
Makes about 24 pot pies / or 48 mini pot pies
INGREDIENTS
Puff Pastry
4 sheets store-bought puff pastry or shortcrust pastry, thawed
Flour for dusting
Spinach + Queso Filling
2 1/2-3 lbs fresh baby spinach, chopped
12 oz queso fresco, crumbled
2 cans (15 oz each) chickpeas, drained and rinsed well
2 small yellow onions, finely diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 tbsp curry powder
2 tsp ground turmeric
1 cup heavy cream or coconut milk
2 tbsp olive oil or butter
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Glaze
2 eggs, beaten (optional, for brushing on pastry tops if using)
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Prepare the Filling
Heat olive oil or butter in a large skillet over medium heat.
Add the diced onions and sauté for 5–6 minutes until soft and translucent.
Stir in the garlic, curry powder, and turmeric and cook for 1 minute until fragrant.
2. Cook the Spinach
Add the chopped spinach in batches, stirring until wilted.
Stir in the chickpeas and cook for 2 minutes.
3. Make the Creamy Sauce
Pour in the heavy cream or coconut milk and simmer for 5-6 minutes until slightly thickened.
Season with salt and black pepper, to taste.
Remove from heat and allow the mixture to cool slightly.
Fold in the crumbled queso fresco.
(The filling should be thick and scoopable, not watery.)
4. Prepare the Pastry
Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C).
Lightly grease two 24-cup muffin pans.
Roll out the puff pastry on a lightly floured surface.
Cut into 5-6-inch squares or circles.
Press each piece of pastry gently into the muffin cups to form small shells.
Note: You can also use two 24-cup mini muffin pans and cut the pastry into 3-inch circles and bake 18-22 minutes.
5. Fill the Pot Pies
Spoon 1–2 tablespoons of filling into each pastry shell.
Cut additional small pastry rounds or squares for the tops (if desired.)
You can either:
Leave them open-faced, or
Add small pastry lids and press lightly.
6. Egg Wash & Bake
Brush the tops with beaten egg (if using).
Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until:
pastry is golden, crunchy and puffed
filling is heated through
Let cool in the pan for 5 minutes, run a sharp knife around the edges of the pan to loosen the pies, then gently remove and serve on a platter with the Cilantro-Lime Yogurt Sauce drizzled on top of the pies (and extra on the side for dipping!)
Cilantro-Lime Yogurt Sauce
Makes about 2 cups
INGREDIENTS
2 cups plain Greek yogurt
3/4 cup fresh cilantro, finely chopped
2-3 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp garlic powder (or 1 small clove minced)
Salt and black pepper to taste
Optional: 1 tsp honey or agave
INSTRUCTIONS
Combine all ingredients in a bowl.
Stir until smooth.
Chill for 30 minutes to let flavors develop.
✨ Serving Tip
Arrange the pot pies on a platter with the yogurt sauce drizzled on top and bowl of extra sauce in the center and garnish with:
If I’m being honest, this weekend was more than just a fun getaway.
It was a wake-up call.
After spending the past four years in Texas, working in a different rhythm of life and a full-time role, I didn’t realize how much I had been missing this part of myself.
This creative energy.
This sense of community.
This connection to food, storytelling, and building something meaningful.
It reminded me of my time in New York City—where I first built my business, my network, and my creative identity.
And it made one thing very clear:
I want to find my way back there.
Back to a life that feels aligned.
Back to my people.
Back to the energy that fuels me.
❤️ Why Finding Your Tribe Matters
Finding your tribe isn’t just about friendship.
It’s about alignment.
It’s about surrounding yourself with people who:
inspire you
support you
challenge you
and help you grow
It’s about creating a life—and a business—that feels authentic, fulfilling, and connected.
Because when you’re in the right room, everything changes.
A special thanks to Jenn Sharp, our amazing event hostess and organizer who brought us all together and made this retreat magical for all of us! And another shoutout to my new food tribe! You are all so talented and inspiring, and I am so happy to have met you all – I can’t wait to next year’s adventure together again! France? Italy? I’m In!
Back in 2010, I started my business in New York City with almost no experience in food styling, photography, food writing — and built it anyway.
Not because I was fully prepared.
But because I refused to let my current abilities define my future career.
Over the course of my career — from graphic design and advertising, to food styling and photography to content creation and social media — I’ve reinvented myself several times and achieved a successful career doing what I love.
It wasn’t easy, but every time, I aimed beyond what felt realistic. What felt comfortable. What seemed out of reach.
I pitched new clients before I felt qualified.
I stepped into rooms that intimidated me.
I took on big projects that I wasn’t sure I could do yet.
I built platforms I had never built before.
And here’s what I’ve learned:
Most limitations are self-imposed.
Muhammad Ali said,
“Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion.”
You don’t wait to feel ready.
You build readiness through action.
If you’re in a season of growth, reinvention, or expansion — the question isn’t whether you’re capable today.
The question is whether you’re willing to become capable.
And take the leap.
1. Aim Beyond What You’re Capable Of
Most people set goals based on their current skill level.
That’s the mistake.
If your goal matches your present abilities, it won’t transform you. It will simply confirm what you already know how to do. Real growth begins when the vision demands a version of you that doesn’t exist yet.
Les Brown once said:
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”
When you aim higher than you feel ready for, you force expansion. You learn faster. You stretch further. You develop resilience. Even if you don’t hit the exact target, you won’t land where you started.
✨ Action Step:
– Write down one goal that feels safe.
– Now write down one that feels almost impossible.
– Circle the impossible one — and commit to exploring it for 30 days.
2. Disregard Where Your Abilities End
We over-respect our current limitations.
We say things like:
“I’m not technical.”
“I’m not a leader.”
“I’m not experienced enough.”
“I’m too old.
“It’s too late.”
But your abilities are not fixed — they’re expandable.
Sara Blakely said:
“Don’t be intimidated by what you don’t know. That can be your greatest strength.”
The truth? Every expert was once inexperienced. Every leader was once unsure. The only difference is they didn’t let inexperience define their identity.
✨ Action Step:
– List three things you think you “can’t” do.
– Next to each, write: “Can be learned.”
– Choose one and take a 20-minute action today toward learning it.
Growth compounds.
3. Try the Things You Feel Incapable Of
Confidence is not a prerequisite for action.
It’s a result of it.
Michael Jordan said:
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Failure is data.
Attempt is expansion.
Inaction is stagnation.
The longer you wait to “feel ready,” the longer you delay growth.
✨ Action Step:
Ask yourself:
– “What would I attempt this week if failure wasn’t an option?”
– Now take one small, concrete step in that direction.
Movement breaks fear.
4. Aim for Elite Rooms
If you think you’re not qualified to work with the best company, brand, or leader in your field — pause.
Who told you that?
Steve Jobs said:
“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
Elite spaces are not mythical. They’re filled with people who decided to apply, reach, and refine themselves.
✨ Action Step:
– Identify the top company or opportunity in your industry.
– Audit your positioning.
– Upgrade one thing this week — your portfolio, your pitch, your online presence.
Act in alignment with where you’re going, not where you are.
5. If You Think You Can’t Run a Company — Make That Your Aim
“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life.”
Running a company — or leading anything — begins with self-leadership. Decision-making.
Ownership.
Vision.
If you think you’re “not cut out” for it, ask yourself: Is that fact — or fear?
✨ Action Step:
– Write: “If I were the CEO of my life, I would…”
– List five changes.
– Implement one immediately.
Leadership begins with daily choices.
6. Make “Impossible” Your Target
Muhammad Ali said:
“Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion.”
When you quietly dismiss your biggest ambitions — recognition, influence, impact — you shrink your potential.
Big visibility comes from big contribution.
✨ Action Step:
– Define your boldest recognition goal.
– Ask: “What habits would someone at that level practice daily?”
– Start one this week.
Identity precedes achievement.
7. Make the Vision Real
Dreaming is easy.
Execution is discipline.
Walt Disney has a famous quote that I love:
“If you can dream it, you can do it.”
But you must translate vision into systems.
Goals into milestones.
Intention into calendar commitments.
✨ Action Step:
– Break your bold goal into a 90-day sprint.
– Choose three milestones.
– Schedule time daily and weekly to work on them.
If it’s not scheduled, it’s not prioritized.
8. Rewrite Your Beliefs
Henry Ford said:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”
Your beliefs shape your behavior — and your behavior shapes your results.
Most people don’t fail because they’re incapable.
They fail because they never fully believed.
✨ 7-Day Practice:
– Every time you think “I can’t,” replace it with: “How can I?”
Watch your brain start solving instead of shrinking.
🎧 If this resonates, I go deeper into this mindset shift in the latest episode of The Artful Gourmet Podcast– Into Focus series, “You Can Achieve the Unachievable”
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